A Valentine for the “Unattached”

Dear “Unattached”,

Could any label be more hurtful this time of year? Rejected, maybe….

Unattached not only implies that you have no one to cling to during the holiday, but that you don’t have anyone at all. This idea couldn’t be further from the truth. For all my precious single friends out there, hear this pronounced and heartfelt declaration: you are attached to a community of people that love and need you. Start listing all the people that influence you and the people that you influence (siblings, co-workers, parents, friends, colleagues, small group members, etc.)
Not only do you matter to others, you matter to God. Isaiah 49:16 is one of my favorite verses: “See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.”

Know that no matter who scratches out your name (in their journal, in a marriage license, in their heart), God never will forget you. You are forever His valuable and deeply loved creation.

Your life contains meaning and purpose–right here and right now.  Though he saw great merit in marriage, Paul said he wished everyone could be single (I Cor. 7:7) as he was. Now, you certainly shouldn’t take a sour grapes attitude that declares, “Who needs marriage anyway?” but continue to offer your desires to the Lord and add, “As long as I am single, what do you have for me to do?” As much as I love being married with children, I am bound in ways single people aren’t. Singleness does afford more opportunities for expansive ministry.

Make diligent effort to become the type of person you want to marry. Work toward being more loving, patient, gentle and reliable (2 Corinthians 3:18, 2 Timothy 2:15, 22). When I got married, I had a lot of growing up to do. Despite what I’d previously thought about myself, I was selfish and controlling. I didn’t realize how critical and difficult I could be until I got married (of course, the real test of my acts of servanthood came after I had children). Practice selfless acts of kindness without expecting anything in return. Serve without recognition. Minister to the discouraged and poor. Be diligent and disciplined to be where you say you will be. These “simple” decisions greatly impact your future course.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”
Abigail Van Buren

Now, enjoy where you are at and where the Lord is taking you. You may not see the path clearly, but trust that He does. He understands you (better than anyone): your personality, your desires, your weaknesses, your dreams and goals, and He is on your side. Rest in that this Valentine’s Day. Remember you are deeply cherished, and out of that overwhelming love, turn to someone and give. Send a card to a lonely widow. Buy a stuffed bear for a child in the hospital. Call a friend just to say, “You matter to me.” Be intentional.

And be at rest.

Because you are His.

Love and Blessings over you,



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