Okay, back on the Enneagram bus, taking you to another beautiful number and that person’s passions and fears. Some Christians cringe over yet another discussion on personality. After all, these profiles can lead people to rely on crutches instead of submitted themselves to the Lord’s renewing power. Remember, the Enneagram profile only helps us if we evaluated it through the lens of our first identity: a child of God. Ultimately, our goal is to become more balanced–the best, most-resourceful version of ourselves that we can become. That change doesn’t come apart from the Holy Spirit’s work.
Although I don’t believe we need these tests, knowing how we are wired and what our natural proclivities are helps us understand where the boundaries should be and how we can help one another.
The language of “blinders” is helpful here. Blinders assume blind spots. Put in the right hands, the Enneagram is a tool to show people how their inner life blinds them to certain patterns and motivations—even to certain virtues. But blinders also assume focus. At its best, the Enneagram aims to show why we impulsively go a particular direction in our imagination, why our hearts burn for one thing over another, or why we are exceptionally driven in certain areas and not in others. –John Starke
I need to be right.
|Type Two||I need to be wanted.|
|Type Three||I need to be successful.|
|Type Four||I need to be unique.|
|Type Five||I need to know.|
|Type Six||I need to be secure/safe.|
|Type Seven||I need to have fun.|
|Type Eight||I need to be for or against something.|
|Type Nine||I need to keep everyone at peace.|
This crazy 8 here married herself a divine 9. My husband is a man of deep conviction, compassionate justice, and diligent attentiveness. Even though he’s a type-B and contentment comes easily, he puts forth 110% in his job and takes his responsibility as husband and dad seriously; he doesn’t easily anger and he’s not swayed by frantic emotions. When I start to rally a cause or blurt out a frustration, his gracious temperament allows me to vent and later, he approaches the situation with mercy and truth.
I call nines divine because they seem to understand many various perspectives, making them excellent mediators. While type ones struggle to comprehend any viewpoint other than their own (My way or no way, I say!), a nine will say, “I can see the merit of that, but have you thought about….” They approach the situation from all angles, analyzing the best, and most logical, decision. While they may be extremely knowledgeable (and often are), they won’t come across as authoritative or forceful because they allow for other “ways of doing things” and don’t enjoy conflict. Peace is the name of the game. And relationships (avoiding that breach) are high priorities. Nines are often misunderstood, self-critical, and ignored by other more forceful personalities.
Understand that nines pull everyone together. They help us relax and unwind. They know how to speak the truth in love (better than a 1, 5, or 8). They know how to support people and help everyone understand more fully. So, if you know a nine, here are some ways to connect with them: listen, and love that nine in your life. 🙂
- Ask them what they want and need, and give them time to discern the answer.
- Avoid coming on too strong, getting impatient or creating pressure.
- If you sense they are reluctant or unsure about something they said “yes” to or agreed to do, let them know that it’s ok to say “no.”
- Encourage them to determine their priorities and support them to take action
- Stay present to them when they are angry.
- Share body-based activities such as walking, exercising, cooking or eating. (Taken from here).