I think I’m writing this post today because I need to hear what I have to say. 😉 Between the two of us, Aaron definitely wins the fun award. He constantly endeavors to make this overly serious, stressed-out woman laugh (something God knew I desperately needed). He loves to play games with me and make obscure Masterpiece Theatre or Jane Austen references that are anything but accurate, but still, hilarious.
On the other hand, my practicality often prevents playfulness. Sadly, I find myself getting too tired or distracted to flirt or be creative.
So, let us (if you are a spouse) undertake more intentional effort toward our spouses….not for the sake of solidarity but for fun. As said, those who laugh together stay together.
Allow yourself to be spontaneous. I know. I know. Life will unravel if you don’t have a plan. Believe me, I get it. Last minute decisions and leaving tasks half done nearly leaves me undone, but I am growing. And by growth, I mean I’m allowing myself to put people over a mess-free, organized house. Sometimes I squelch a potentially “fun” fire with my wet blanket of Type-A anal retentiveness.
Respect before relaxation. I can’t just say and do whatever I want, acting like my husband is part of my little dominion (a.k.a. treating him like a child) and then switch over into let’s cuddle mode. Probably won’t work. In order for people to be in a deep and meaningful (and fun) friendship with one another, they need to first know they are appreciated and esteemed. It’s hard to have one without the other. Speak words of edification. If affirmation doesn’t come naturally for you, practice. All things get better with it, right?
Find something that jump-starts your humor. My emotions are slow to change, so I usually have to watch something to become more light-hearted. Aaron and I spent the first couple years of our marriage habitually watching Psych episodes. Now we will pull up a Duck Dynasty episode or a Michael McIntyre or Brian Reagan comedy sketch. We laugh and then we can just shake off responsibilities for a little while and enjoy being together. Games are also a great way to have fun together–unless you are super competitive and short-tempered.
Have regular “date” time. You may not have the money or babysitters for going out to dinner and a movie, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have date time. In 2015, Aaron and I did 50 dates. We couldn’t afford to go out to eat every week, so we got creative with some ideas. One of our first dates involved making homemade apple dumplings and playing a game. We’d put the kids to bed a little early and listen to a radio broadcast mystery or watch a movie. We had themed dates (40’s era) and hiking dates, and even rode a tandem bike. That was the year we took up a new hobby together as well–shooting long bows (something I’d always wanted to do). Make a list. Get creative.
(For some fun ideas, go here).
(This is one of my all-time favorite pix of us–we look so youthful and energetic.)