Yesterday my mom stopped by the house, and in passing, she mentioned something a friend of hers told her after spending a little time with me. She had several compliments to share–all warming my heart–but the comment that struck the deepest cord for me was this: “She has great energy. Kristin’s just someone you want to be around.”
For most of my life, I’ve wrestled against this insecurity that many people didn’t view me that way. Because I was intense, opinionated, passionate, or outspoken, I often bristled people, or because I didn’t suit their needs/wants, I was superfluous or unnecessary. I rarely felt like my feelings/desires for deep connection were reciprocated. I felt tolerated. Being home-schooled during a time prior to solid co-ops and consistent fellowship, I craved more relational time than I ever got and so often my best friends had best friends that weren’t me (their best friends were at school–girls they saw every day). Ironically, during a brief period when I had other home-school friends, kids who weren’t good people, I adapted to their standards because I desperately longed to be wanted and accepted.
Although God healed a lot of those doubts in college, and I have precious friends now who affirm their connection to me as a person (the good, bad, and ugly), that insecurity can still erupt, especially during times of painful rejection. The reality of what I struggled with as a kid/teen promoted these deeper lies based on false perceptions. I think I’m still surprised when people say, “I want to hang out with you.”
Winston Churchill is credited with this humorous take on deception: “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
We can laugh, but our world in chaos is evident of this predicament. Lies, half-truths, and skewed perspectives run rampant because fear and insecurity make the lie seem more plausible than the truth. Somehow the lies feel safer. Lies promote empty promises while the truth asks us to trust in the Lord and what He says.
And just as the lies will get halfway around the world, so do they wrap themselves halfway around our hearts and our patterns of thinking.
“Lies we tell ourselves:
It will never get better.
This is just how I am.
My life will never be good again.
God won’t forgive me.
I can’t forgive them.
I can’t forgive myself.
I won’t be able to get over this.
You can’t trust anyone.
God doesn’t care.
The danger is that lies don’t just pass through our thoughts. Lies ravage our beliefs.
A lie we believe becomes a limitation that steals possibility. That limitation then becomes a resignation of defeat preventing us from moving forward and moving on.
I’ve learned to listen for these defeating lies. And then reject those thoughts with immediate prayers, “God, help me untangle this lie from my thoughts and replace it with Your life-giving Truth. This lie is damaging and defeating so I will not allow it to hijack my mind or hinder my heart. With Your powerful Truth in me, I am set free.” Lysa Terkeurst
Satan is constantly asking us, “Can God really be trusted? Is He really going to come through for you? Does He really care or is it all up to you? Who are you really? God may say that about you, but does anyone else?”
And on and on we let the Enemy ramble. How many times in my spirit did I agree with Satan and say, Well, he has a point… Really? What point is that?
John 10:10 states that he comes ONLY to steal, kill, and destroy.
He parades like an angel of light, all the while peddling his darkness (2 Cor. 11:14). We need to be held and led by the Holy Spirit, so we can weed through the half-truths and distortions to the hidden lie.
MEDITATE on these passages:
John 14:6: Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life;
Psalm 16:11: You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
I Peter 2:9: But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
Col. 3:1-3: Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
I John 3:1-2: See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
If you are living a defeated and insecure life, I’d encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate what lies you are believing about yourself. He has so much more for you than the crumbling foundation you are currently tottering on.